zia ravenscroft
antlered doe / forest mother
after Walt Whitman
remember, as you dig your heels into my soil
i am the path and i am the divergence
i am a lone pūriri moth
mind of stag and wilderness jagged
half doe half antler, gentle freak of nature
i am the forest and i am the beasts within
i am the myth and the man by the campfire telling it
i will not survive hunting season
disobeying your guardian angel is addictive: it’s sweeter than floating in the wetlands
and drinking the sky, like the blades of grass aching to be kauri
scraped from bark with decomposing fingers
constellations compassed, i am the cobweb the flies inevitably
dance into and the orb-weaving spider that devours them
whole. i am the old trunk of the tōtara tree and the fairies within
dappled back still weary from crisis and winter wind
i am the runt of the litter
i am genderless in wonderland
legs twiggy, wobble like compost, hyperventilate underneath
shaking under the weight of duality, under containing multitudes
but still breathing
rapunzel and tower, abstinence and deflower, cronos and the devoured
stomach acid fertilises my moss floor and i am slain
i fell into a swamp rabbit-hole and tipped the balance
as punishment or prize (scientists can’t tell) i will be reborn as a two-headed cheshire frog
one pair of eyes backstroking and the other drowning
read like a fable and strung up like an omen
growing water lilies from eye sockets, resting reincarnation
and yet
i emerge from exploding guts with beloved roots
in luce. in perpetuum.
Zia Ravenscroft (he/they) is a trans and queer student, writer, zinemaker, and actor living in Wellington. He has placed twice in the high school division of the Frank Sargeson Short Story Competition, and qualified for the Wellington Poetry Slam Regional Finals in 2022. They’re not like other boys – he’s worse.