modi deng
lessons ii
on freefall:
1. your eyes will water, and
2. you may emit silent ooo groans, like caterpillar smoke rings
on plants:
1. sometimes it’s pertinent to look at the behaviour as well as understand its root
2. if you give me the space to grow, I will return to you my blossoming
on the cold:
1. two people with expectations that could
2. cut a roof in half
on breathing:
1. breath is to a phrase as a pulse is to rhythm
2. coming to terms with your feelings when you perform is to
tumble headfirst, fists full of awkward vibes from the audience
on insouciant thoughts:
1. I don’t mean to discredit hypnotherapy but I do
2. being passive means being a cavity for someone to fill
on words:
1. words are a celebration of the living and a balm for the dead
2. that’s why the air softly eats up words when we
break our hearts in-between
on Felicity:
1. I never expected to find a kindred spirit in 90s Keri Russell
at first it was her volatile decision-making
2. but then it was her husky book sweaters
her slinky slips and the steely grace of sometimes silence
on stories:
1. I want to be like my friend who smiles any time someone
talks, hands resting under her chin
2. as if who they are is yet to unfold
as if in that moment she sees how their childhood is still
carrying them, limp and all
field notes on lewis hyde’s the gift
-
in a few days I will be in Beijing
I will play in a hall and open outwards
like a gift
like the dizzying task of
one small tree trying to give the sun return
for what has entered it through a leaf (25)
this music will seep through every
moneyed crack and every rule
of every institution and
I will articulate what I have to say
unzip a slight gap between my chest of feeling
and my water-armed self, and in singing,
be free
in both (63)
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Modi Deng is a pianist who loves to write. She is looking forward to furthering her performance studies in London later this year.